Return to Los Angeles

After a quick, hungover drive from Phoenix this afternoon, I am in Los Angeles at my home-away-from-home. The tour passed by a little too quickly despite some routing pains (3 overnight drives which Busdriver handled like the gangster he is) and, although I heard the same sets for the last 3 weeks, I feel lost tonight without Pigeon John jumping around and saying "Bro" or "She's a Freakin' Christian!" Last night in Scottsdale, on a stage covered in beef blood (I was hoping it was human blood from a punk show, but it turns out it was some weird industrial band having fun), John delivered the most classic quote from a hip-hop show *ever* as he addressed the crowd:

"Imagine it's Christmas, and I am naked, but I have no penis- it's just smooth down there. And [his DJ, bTwice] is cooking me bacon. B! You're cooking me bacon, bro!"

You see why I am so upset now?

Alas, after thousands of miles driven through middles-of-nowhere which blurred together in fields- listening to our fuzzy iPod soundtrack including Justin Timberlake, Animal Collective, Ghostface Killa, Sonic Youth, Leonard Cohen, Broadcast, Os Mutantes, and shit that Busdriver likes that makes me cringe- we found ourselves entrenched in one adventure after the next. Since most may not be fit for print, I'll leave you instead with the hilarious police log from the small Humboldt County town we played: Arcata, California. I swear you just couldn't make this shit up- not even in a place whose economy is based on Marijuana cultivation...

(from the Arcata Eye, September 19th, 2006)

Hoots, Hollers, Threats and Creative Unpleasantness
Arcata Police Log by Kevin L. Hoover

Thursday, August 24
3:18 PM A water pipe sales representative set up a short-lived shop beside a Plaza garbage can, which was no substitute for a business license.
4:53 PM A citizen who'd been waiting for a bus at Virginia Way and Lena Avenue went wee on someone's bushes, which upset a resident. The bus rider then went to the police department to complain about harassment.
4:56 PM A bushy-bearded man is no longer welcome at a Uniontown shopping center.
5:15 PM A bearded man is no longer welcome at his ex-partner's home.
5:33 PM A beardly weirdling unsettled proceedings at a Fifth Street church
7:28 PM A small baggie of "something white" was spotted in the company of a man bearing facial hair near Westwood Center.
8:21 PM A young male dine-and-dasher at a Valley West Mexican eatery sported an earnest suggestion of a beard.

Friday, August 25
1:40 AM A 12th street man predicted that an ex-girlfriend would break his window because she thought he stole her dog.
11:06 AM A man reported than an overnight houseguest had threatened to murder him if he made any more remarks about his girlfriend's "social major."
3:38 PM Various personnel come and go from the van parked at Ninth and F streets, from which clouds of dope smoke also exude.
4:45 PM Pete beseeched a passerby for coinage in Uniontown
5:10 PM Young males with hats clustered and fussed on the Plaza

Tuesday, August 29
3:38 PM Anina Way neighbors conflicted
When someone's dog ran unrestricted
Discussion ensued
Allegedly rude
With someone's ass set to be kicked
4:41 PM Someone got so mad at a child at a Valley West burger joint that the kid's head was angrily slammed by a bathroom door.

[And this one may be my favorite]:
6:33 PM A woman complained that a street person threatened to sit on her head until she became dead behind an everlasting donut shop.

WHAT?

So, I have about a week to relax before heading back out with Daedelus & Thavius Beck, and I hope there are fans like the guy in Denver who hung out at our car and repeatedly punched himself in the face, saying "I love you man!" to a completely bewildered Busdriver. That's what makes this fun; well, that and late-night antics with new friends at the Super 8